Sisophan: Departure

J and I return from shoping Sea Lion sitting beside Aunt. He so excited. He going to join small group of people travel to refugee camp on Thailand border. Many people going to buy supplies, bring back to families here. He leave today.
Aunt very nervous. Word comes from two of Sea Lion’s friends that he safe, journey not so dangerous.
Now my turn, Aunt say. She want me to travel to refugee camp where Sea Lion waits, buy big bag of rice and carry it home for us. She tie a sliver of gold in small sac give it to me.

Leave early in the morning and walk across ponds. Sea Lion’s friends so fast. Ponds so deep they take off pants to get across. Water up to my chest.
I already so tired. We walk into jungle. Sea Lion’s friends too fast for me. They leave me behind. A lot of people escape now, they walk past me to and from the camp, some carry groceries back to Sisophan to trade.
Later day group of men sit near me. I move closer but they do not want to talk to me. They share little bit rice with me. Group come by heading to Battambang.
“Be careful,” they say. You have to run so fast. The Vietnamese shoot at you."

***
I stand and look down at her. She so brave. She hurt trying to take care of family.
“I loose my family. My daughter, my son. Mae and Ba. You so lucky. Not alone.”
I do not think she hear me anymore. She lay down, close her eyes
"You stay on path with others.Jungle full of mines. Still long way to go.”
I walk until sunset, still in jungle. Not think I ever get there.
“Oh my god, why don’t you push me a little bit harder? I cannot walk. My eyes not see so good anymore”
What that? I stop to listen. Music, music from a radio. Not too far..
So happy. Don’t know where energy come from. Jungle behind me. Land clear, no longer so dark. I walk so fast, trip over my feet. Finally, camp in front of me. People everywhere. Even hear laughter. I walk down aisle after aisle of people, little sqres of families. Looking for Sea Lion.
So dark now. Finally, I find him. He hug me, happy to see me.
“Why it take you so long” “

He take me to section of camp where he has bedding. “You rest here, I get some food for us.”
All around me people talk, babies cry. I not used to so much noise. I smell food cooking. But I so tired. I lie down on Sea Lion’s mat.close my eyes. When I open them again, sun is high in sky. Bowl of rice and vegetables. Large bucket of water and cup. I look around. What is this new world? All these people? Like me? Still alive. I try to sit up but too weak. My legs on fire. I lie there and reach out for vegetables. Too weak to eat, Just close eyes again. Safe for now.