Kou:Time Passing

Time just go by, nothing change. Only two sarong, a few shirt now. Make hat from palm tree. No shoes. Use sand to brush teeth. Wake up when dark. Bell rings we eat. Long tables and chairs. One bowl soup for four people. Small bowl salt. Join group, walk out to fields.Sometimes find snail at work. Quick hide in pocket
Work on one row, dig, finish, move to next row. I slow because never do farming before.
Walk home to eat. Rest one or two hours. Back to fields. Just same, pick rice, replant fields. Sometimes vegetables. Everything same until I get infection.
Nurse gives us vitamin shot make us feel better. More energy to work. A couple days I get fever, arm gets red and swollen.
I go to hospital. So much pain I say “Just cut off my arm, cannot sleep.” Nurse cut big hole in my arm to get out infection. Put bandage over and tell me go back to work now. I not strong enough to work in field so work picking up cow dung.
Every week we go to Unka meeting. Outside sit on haystacks. Everyone have to go unless you too sick to walk. Group leader talk about who lazy, who bad. Always talk about crops, how to make more food to eat. We hard worker people, they say. No difference you used to be doctor lady. Get out of your head. Now you part of UNKA. Everybody same. Big plan for country. Used to be rice crop one time year, now we get three. Work hard or you die. Not enough food.
But rice not last long enough. Now we get scoop of corn in soup. Then chicken pox come, kill everybody’s children, even Khmer Rouge. Not matter to me anymore. All our children already starve to death. What I care?
After kids die, I work with old people. Tha always try to work

on row next to me, help me finish.

“Oh my good friend,” he say. “I remember you when you first came. So beautiful.” Tha always friend to me. Teach me how to collect water to make palm milk from leaves. He always hide food in pocket for me. Even though his son is general in Khmer Rouge still he work in fields.