Kou: Mae

Mae

Every night after dinner, Mae and I sit in front of our house and watch people walk by. I can always tell by their faces if they are going to die soon. I always tell Mae.

“Why you say that?” she ask. “How you know this?”

“I can see face of death,” I say.

One day I come home Mae lying down spread out. Arms outstretched. I see that face again. That face is awful face.

“Mae! Wake up! Wake up! Why your face like that?”

She open her eyes. “What face?”

“The face like I always tell you. The face just before you die.”

“I don’t try to do that kind of face.”

I can only cry. Too late now to escape with Mae. Too late to keep promise to take her with me.

Only a few days and already little sister and I can no longer care for her. No choice but to put her in hospital. We walk by hospital every morning on way to work and every night on way home from.

Always we so tired and so hungry. One night we not stop to see how she is.

Next morning we pick some cucumbers from vines growing near our house and begin walking toward hospital. Little sister so much faster than me, always stronger and faster, always complaining about how slow I walk. Now she race ahead to hospital. When I get there, she outside. Face very frightened. She scream when she see me.

“Hurry, hurry. I think Mae dead.”

We race into her room. Mae dying. I take my spoon and start spooning her body, scraping off sickness. She start to get color again. Open her eyes. She better.

“You have to stay alive, Mae. You cannot die. Just a little longer. Things will change. You must be strong.”

Everybody crying. But we have to leave. If we do not work, no food.

That night again we so tired not stop at hospital. Next morning, same, sister run off ahead. Now she sobbing.

“Mae dead.” She say this like it my fault, like Mae maybe live if I not so slow.

Mae’s gown pulled up over face. Bottom of body naked. Feces between legs. All these people around her. How could they leave her so exposed, for everyone to see? Why they not cover her?

Sister and I clean her body. We leave her there in bed and go to fields. Never see her again.